Molly from the orphanage sent us AMAZING pictures and a beautiful description of his day. All I could think was "man, I hope his new mom can give him such a great birthday party". He awoke in the morning singing "Happy birthday to meeeee" and the day sounded like it went up from there.
Molly (orphanage Molly not our Molli) also told us that they decided to wait and not give Kerby his gift from us until Judith's birthday (April 1st) and at that time both kids would get their gifts together. Molly also said that after a lot of discussion, they decided they would give the kids our "family book" and begin to introduce them to who we are and begin the process of giving them information about us. This is a really big step in the process. Obviously huge for Judith and Kerby and not so small for us either! We have been waiting on pins and needles for information about Judith's birthday and how the kids did in learning about us. Molly had said she would send us all that information---we are still waiting to hear something.
I work really hard to not let my mind settle in the uncertainty of what not hearing anything from Molly yet means. I could easily cross over into thinking the kids must be having a hard time with it, they must not like us, etc.....God stops me and reassures me that He, and only He, has this process covered. I will only create obstacles for His plans if I continue to throw myself in the way and not completely turn things over to Him. Let Him use me, not have to move me out of the way. I just so deeply pray that Judith and Kerby's hearts were settled, peaceful, and that they felt unexplainable love when they were introduced to us through our pictures and words. I pray that it did not create fear, sadness, or more uncertainty for them. I truly cannot believe how you can love someone so much when you haven't met them yet, but I do....we do. We love Judith and Kerby in a way that doesn't make sense other than to know that Jesus Himself placed that love within our hearts for 2 children that were meant to be a part of our family.
I have moments, although not often, such as during spring break when I am sitting in our 5th wheel in the wind and rain at the beach with the kids (tight quarters :) ) , that I can get a glimmer of a panic feeling thinking "oh my, how are two more children going to fit in here? Can we really do this? Do Ryan and I have what it takes to make this work and raise 5 children who love Jesus and contribute well to this world?"......... What truly amazes me out of those moments is that God has immediately answered me. For some reason up to this point during this process, God has chosen to not leave my doubt or questions hanging for more than 24 hours. It is almost like clockwork. Now I am not saying that God has to answer me immediately etc., but I am in awe of how clear He has been. He does not let me settle into a place of fear, uncertainty, or questioning for very long. I realize these are just words that I could say regardless of how strongly I really feel them, but words are all I have to share my experience. I truly can't explain adequately how strongly present God has been during this adoption walk....I have not had to even begin to look for Him, He is just STRONGLY there. Expressing myself in words is not my strongest gift so I apologize that this is not eloquently written. My friend Rochelle has a gift with words like no other and God has connected me to her and her words so often express almost exactly what I am feeling in my heart. I don't have Rochelle's gift, wish I did, but I don't. Maybe that makes me appreciate her gift even more.
So back to the update. We had to update our homestudy to account for the increased ages of the kids. It has taken months to get this paperwork done again- months ! I am really now officially sick of the paperwork. I know our dossier is finally fully in Haiti and am hoping and praying that it has been submitted to IBESR (Haitian social services), but I don't know for sure. The next step involves waiting for our first court date. The first court date has now been moved to after your dossier has been all the way through IBESR. It used to happen while it was in IBESR, so that means we make our first travel date later than we would have. A bit of a disappointment, but one thing I have learned so far is that when dealing with an adoption in Haiti, you really just have to "roll with it" or you might have to be institutionalized by the time the process is completed. God know how much I like planning and structure and He is getting quite a chuckle out of me in this process......he-he :)
Well, I will post some pictures of Kerby's birthday and some update pictures from March. We should be getting our April update within the next week or two and I promise to post those right away. God is good and His plans are so much more than we could ever really imagine !!!
Choose to make it a great day !
Here is a link to Judith singing a solo :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afnzuUcWTEo
AND
Here is a video link to copy and paste of Judith and Kerby singing !!!!
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/17590820/VIDEO0007.3gp
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